Slipped

Life brings me down
To who's level
Is my frown
Its Not my own

This I know
As I can't see my own face
Too dark is this place
A boulder does replace

Slipped
Beyond the darkness grows
A shadow
To unfold and grow

A vortex
Has sucked me deep within
Where am I?
What is this place?

It feels dark and dirty
Hastening is my trace
To free myself
Of this place

But yet, alas
I find my fate
I am tethered deep inside
Some sort of hell is my gate

I feel alone
Without my sanity
I feel drowning
Inside this reality

It isn't what I thought
It would be
It is only all that
I am not to see

Slipped
Beyond the darkness grows
Tumbling now
Something tears

Opening me up
In spite of myself
All I see now
Scares the hell out of me

Alone I feel
Cold and quiet
Remaining still
As to not incur the wrath

That lies behind the darkness still
I try and let it be
Quietly existing
Still inside me

Writhing, turning inside me
Will it ever go?
So I can just be
It doesn't seem so

But what the hell do I know?
I am only here
And I am only there
Inside me still it is

Scaring and scarring
Does often occur
Life is unbeknownst to me
What direction does it travel?

Who keeps watch over me
My mistakes bring out the panic
I feel I have messed up again
Someone keeps all my mistakes made

Knowing I'll probably
Mess it up anyway
I let go
And try and fight back

A gentle love
Washes over me
For a moment
I let it be

Slipped again
A light goes dark
A sigh let's me know
I accept it

Fighting
What my mind cannot see
Turning towards this fate
Running still further away

Paying tolls
All along the way
Promises keep me influx
But still I can't escape

Knowing which way
I need to go
Keeps me headed through
But Hell lingers deep inside

Am I to ever be through?
I don't like this place
I don't want to be here
I want to leave now, please?

I have spent many years
Combing the labyrinth
For a way out
I have tried many things

None of it works
And I am just beckoned forth
With promises of love and laughter
I don't know

Anymore, I don't!
Are promises made to broken?
Or to be kept?
And who decides?

All I see is what went wrong
How it was all
Ripped away from me
At a very early age

And how it keeps
Being ripped away
Every time I try and change
It doesn't seem fair

Slipped
Beyond the darkness
Starts to shrink
I catch a tiny glimpse of me

Illuminated
Like a sliver of sun
Falling through dark clouds
And landing in my lap

Something different
Unfamiliar
Not quite sure though
It just seems so


I am still deep inside
And spend too much time
Hiding away
I still don't know how to stay

Bubbling now with rawness I feel
Emotion gurgles my mind
It overwhelms my insides
My stomach rotten at the core

I carry it around with me
I try and make sense
But I only come up with crazyness
And no where to take it

I feel oh so sick
And fear hinges a hold of me
Freedom is sometimes a high price
I am still not sure it's worth it

I am letting go of the past now
Trying to see beyond my face
But all I can see is dark and lonely
And just when I am ready to give up

I see her beautiful face
And it reconfirms for me
What I know is there
And what I hope won't go to waste

It pulls me to the land of the living
It grounds me in reality
All my doubts I had assured
(To my surprise) Were just not there

I only longed to reach out and touch her hair
It had gotten longer
I liked it
But didn't really notice

As I couldn't take my eyes off her face
Passing by
She didn't even look my way
I was going to wave hi

She looked as miserable
As I felt
Is life really funny?
For my amusement or theirs?

I want a do over
For some things in my life
But maybe that would just take away
The best parts of me

As a do over might suffice
But what exactly do I do?
As even though it was hard learning
I had to experience those things

But a do over would just erase
The brand new parts of me
So instead I'll take a second chance
When I am ready to begin

Copyright 2011