Love is easier

How do you hear something different
Especially when you have been told
How do you again listen
To something new

Believing what you know
Is hard
Especially when you have been told
Different for so long

Overcoming the words
To find a different reality
Is almost impossible
But it can be done

You have to work at it
Strive to achieve
You must keep your eye on the goal
Even though it remains unseen

It is a lot harder than one would think
But if you can overcome ordinary
And break past into extraordinary
Than miracles will come your way

And it can be done
Believe
Put your positive energy into each step
And put on your Imagination

It is easy for children to believe
Adults have been programed to not
If they could just believe
All would be possible

People don't want us to get hurt
They would prefer us to live safely
But I know that following ones heart
Might not be the popular way

But it is the happiest place to be
And I have many desires for my life
And many people I can rise above for
Including, always, me

How do you see past the world
Into anothers heart
How do you step outside your fears
To rise above for that same person

If you listen carefully
Your heart beats words and truth
And if you can hear your own
You can hear anothers

The impossible is possible
Truth overcomes all doubt
Life is stored inside truth
And you deserve to set it free

Believing in self is the hardest for sure
I can believe in others until I turn blue
But it is always self that gets the last look
And I think it is the best place to start

I am taking me on
For the last round
As I have come so far already
But still see road to go

As it is truly my mind
That needs attending to
As I am still easily swayed
Eventhough I have made much progress

The lies that I think
Are sometimes still powerful over me
And that is what I don't want or need
But I truly only have the power to change me

So begining with the first step
I will take the risk
And change myself into who I am
As that is all I really can do

As I no longer believe in the lie
That it is everyone but me
I do not blame or require
Another for my happiness

I cannot change you
Focusing on you won't make me better
So all I can do is change me
And then I have the real power

And if I am loving me
It won't be long before I am loving you
And that is the true point I think
Which makes sense to me

As it is not up to another
Blame or pointing fingers
Are empty excuses to not deal with thyself
But nothing can be solved through hate

It would be nice to learn to let others be
And I can do that if I am busy being me
And if you are busy being you
Then I think all would be possible

Lying is the normal way

Life happens
Love is hard
Not suppossed to be
But we humans are messy

And since so
We often use fear to save what we cherish
We often use anger to keep people away
Love is easier

But harder
And so it appears like hate
Or fate
Anger
Negativity
Pushing people away

Instead of just letting go
And being who you are now
It is "safer" to pretend
And to lie

And when you are told something
That you know for sure
You often don't know how
To listen to what you know

As it is opposite
It is contrary
Very contradicting
But not true

We are told we don't have the power
We are informed we need to follow
We think we can't do "it" alone
We are lied to

Believing is an important step
In what matters not
It is believing in ones self
That you truly find yourself

It is seeing you for whoever you are
And sometimes in doubt
Or dark moments that last
You uncover yourself

And that is worth it
But we are told to be afraid
Of all those who aren't us
And of all that stuff we can't control

But fear has no power
Other than to bring us down
Or keep us from ourselves
Or what we most want

And not many get it
And the ones who do
Don't know how
Or if they do they don't often tell you

And life is lonely
But you are never alone
There is no true seperation
And we are surrounded by many

What do we do?
We think we can't
Or shouldn't
So we don't

But we are powerful
Beyond our wildest imagination
We just don't know ourselves as such
So we carry on with lies we are told

And we all agree we should
It is easier to follow the crowd
Than to strike out on your own
But it is worth it

There is more to us than this life
Than what you see
So much that happens
Goes unseen

The mind can only register
With a small fraction
Of truth
And the rest gets discarded

So you can't believe your mind
It can jabber all day long
You can't believe your feelings
They change and subside

You can only believe you
You who is not your mind
You who is at the very core of your being
You the person, the soul

All the answers are down below
You only have to ask the question
And in asking
You get the answer, eventually

When you are ready to see
Nothing good happens until we say so
Nothing good happens until we are ready
Nothing good happens unless you mean it

As we spend most of our time
Most of our energy
On something we don't want
Something negative

And then we wonder why
It is such that
We get what we don't want
But we never see it was us

Us who was afraid
Us who day in and day out feared
And Spent countless hours believing the worst
About ourselves or each other

We let others take the power
Because we are so afraid
Even our government
Uses fear to rule us

George W
For instance
Was a fear mongering terrorist
And we all got in line to be screwed
I fell for it too

We did not stick up for ourselves
And our rights got taken one by one
And in some a handful at a time
Especially for people like me

We let them do what they want
Because we were too afraid to stand up
They used our hearts to make us behave their way
And we all got blind sided

And don't think that worrying is safe
It is the other side of a negative coin
It will hurt and harm you
Just like fear you need to let it go

Negative energy only has power
To bring forth negative results
You CAN not get good things
While you spend negative energy

If you want good
Think good
It is more than a law
It is an action for a reaction

It is common sense
It is truth at it's simplest form
It is easy, but the hardest thing
As the ego will fight you

It only knows what it don't want
And it is very protective of that
It works hard to believe the lies
It trys to convince us

The real enemy is inside
All of us
But we fight each other
We just don't know we never win

And we push away the ones we love
In an attempt to shut ourselves out
Whatever we do
We are still there

And we can't be ignored by us
And the brave face to put on
Is the one where we accept ourselves as we are
And in turn we accept truth and love

In us it flows
Out of us it flows
We try and stop it
But still it persists

And to come to terms with this
Is a powerful thing
And you have more strength than you know
So it might seem to hard

I assure you it is possible
Anything is
Everything is
All that you want or desire

We can do magical and extraordinary things
If you just give yourself a chance
And take the risk
And believe

Saying goodbye

I didn't expect that I would go back
Back to my deep hole
Back to suffering
I didn't see it coming

As I felt so damn free
But never the less
I ended up back there again
And while it hurt

This time was different
It didn't last as long
I learned deeply about me
And I became a new kind of free

It was familiar in the most usual way
But unlike yesterday
I did not want to stay
So I didn't

But what I uncovered
Was worth the journey there
And I when I saw myself truly as I am
I left

I know I won't ever go back again
Not that I don't want to
But that door no longer exsists
It has been engulfed by the light and love I feel for myself

One by one
My doors all in a row
Are being eaten by what I now know about me
As I know I am powerful to truly be free

And the journey started with a step of love towards me
I give myself who I am
I don't need to be saved
I am already free

And that is the best thing
As sometimes I don't feel that way
But it doesn't change
It is just me

I see what I have been missing
And I know how badly I used to hurt
But the love I now feel for myself
Has filled me up in such a way

That I don't need to search outside myself
When things get me down
Or my black hole reappears
I look deep inside for truth

And that is my ticket out of there
A free pass if you choose it
Before I did not get it
But now I do

And that is all I need
Me
To get me through
No one else can do it for me

Even when I don't know how
I will still find a way
As the answers lay still in wait
And all I have to do is choose to see

And in seeing I become
Understanding brings about a new
And with that I no longer suffer
I just exsist inside me

And that to me is the point
A way you get yourself free
The reasons I keep going
Are me

The new world I live in
Is one that is so sweet
As I am learning now
I want to let that be

I used feel all sorts of sadness for me
Used to think I didn't deserve it
I used to be that it won't happen
And it, was everything I wanted

But a lie only holds so much power
It can only get you for so long
You will only choose it until you have seen the truth
And the truth sets you free

If you don't believe
Take a piece of your own suffering
Ask for it to be true
And the answer might surprise you

As all these lies we pour ourselves into
Are just that
And when you get you don't need them
They fall away

And that is where I am
What an exciting place
And now that I have seen me
I know I deserve every good thing coming my way

Soulfulness

I can't trust my feelings
They are empty
Have no loyalty
They will turn on me if the right thoughts come along

Betraying me for the right price
I am persuaded out of being nice
I no longer believe what I used to
And decide to fuck the follow through

Giving up is easier
If you listen to your feelings or thoughts
As they are not stable
And change with the least persuading stimuli

And this is my down fall
As I have learned to depend only upon them
And when they are gone
I feel hopeless and without

I feel so empty
And like I don't know what to do
As they have always been there to guide me
But have betrayed me when it mattered most

So all alone
I have to decide
If I stay on this path
Or run and hide

As I know where it goes
And I know what I see
But before I had my feelings helping me
And now it is just me

Since I am not my feelings
I can look past them
And see the truth
But I am only learning to

My feelings may be hiding
But you my soul are not
And that is what I stand strong to
Firm and committed too

As within you is all the truth I need
All the answers that I cannot yet see
And this is what I am learning to be
A listener of you

My feelings tell me I am alone
They tell me I am wrong
And won't get the life I want
They betray my heart to bring me down

They screw with me
And throw my heart around
I feel empty and alone
But I don't have to listen

Can't listen
Not anymore
As shit only brings more of the same
So instead I will rise against

Strong and able
I will not fool myself again
As I know where that road goes
And I won't go there again

I will find the strength that lies deep within
To uncover what truly will be
And only inside that will I be free
Free to live a happy life for me

And I am done being a puppet
I got no strings
As I am done letting others pull them
And persuade me

So instead I will learn how to see
Around my feelings deep in me
And I will not sway or fall down
With persistence and courage I will strive

And in time I will arrive
I don't need a thing but me
To make this happen
As I already have everything

And in making this transition
I am opening up to a new me
One that can hear words that are not spoken
Deep inside others

I do not use my feelings
I listen to the flowing energy
I see what it says
And my ears are bigger for it

And I am learning what I came here for
How to be me
Without all the drama and suffering
Me just as I am

Truth is still and quiet
You have to stop to hear it
But you can
And I do

Amazing tales
Life lived right
I am no longer terrified
As I have always been

And whether it brings sadness or a grin
Sometimes that is the point
As if you aren't learning
What are you?

My Heart Cries

I turn my head

And watch you go

I smile

Though I already know

I turn to leave our place

I try to forget your face

I don't want to hang around for this

I need to leave please

So I turn to do so

And before I can

I feel the most overwehelming sense

You are coming back

I need to wait

Why is my fate

I just want to go

I do, really do

I ask

I plead

I beg to go

But the answer is just so

It comes up from my heart you see

And it cries for you

I feel it when I pose the question

I know it when I ask for it to be true

I think if I were supposed to leave

Then I am certian my heart would sing

It would gloriously send me in pursuit

I know this as I feel it answer me about you

And when she does

She only sings

When I feel love for you

Or choose you

She cries

When I turn away

Or try and run and hide from you

Which I often do

So with this truth

That I cannot deny

I will not make a decision

As it will all be told to me in time

I let you go free

And so I am in peace and harmony

As the moment will let me know

And anything else I do is protecting

And that is not good for me

As nothing is happening right now

That I need protection from

So at ease I will be

And I will not make myself wrong for trying to get away

When I knew I should stay

As when you discount your progress you are doomed to repeat it

And I am chose to be free of it

So I accept it as it is

Since I have learned this song

Now know it by heart

I let it be free inside me to do as it is

I will let it be

So my heart doesn't cry

And then in time

I will find what is right

It has taken me a long bit of time

To learn this

I refused to see it before

And slammed shut the door

Even though it caused me

So much pain

Heartache and unease

I still refused to believe

And my soul would alert me so

To what I already know

And I would turn my head ahead

As I rathered to focus on what I saw instead

But a long bit ago that was

And I have learned what to do

Do when I feel that suffering come up

As it is the same old feeling

Telling me not go that way

Telling me to stay put and wait

And when I do decide to do just that

Peace always ensues

I am sorry

Sorry for what I said
All I meant, wanted to say
Was you have the space you want
It's ok

I am not upset with you
I miss you though
I really do love you
But it's ok

Ok that you need space
Ok that you are taking it
I accept that
Forgive how it went

It doesn't matter
But you do
So do what you need
Be happy and successful

And I am here
You are with me still
And everything will be ok
I am sorry for letting it get so far

I should have known better
Things were hard enough without involving them
And I didn't mean anything or try to do anything
I just got caught up in their drama too

I took my eyes off my business
I was wrong
Am sorry
I hope you can forgive me

It was so wonderful
To just have you there
I know things are tough
I know you are busy

But if we can just be friends
I needed very little
Very small amount as I have my own stuff too
Only what you could give

It's just so much easier
To be your friend
So I will say it
Please let's just be friends

It is harder on both of us this way
Let's just not have the wall up
And you still can have your space
Slowly it can be

That is good
I really am not asking for anything else
So think it over
And I won't give you a hard time

Nothing has been done
That can't be undone
It wasn't even our fight
It doesn't have to be ours

So if you choose to put it behind us
That will be great
If you need more time
I can wait

And you are always welcome
In my life
I won't talk about you
Won't let others talk about you either

Fear makes everything hard
I get you got scared
But I am not out to hurt you
I just want to be there

Support you
Listen
Laugh
It was good at last

So please J
Let's not do all that again
It didn't get us anywhere we liked
Things will be good if we want them to be

Friends is right
What I see
And as before you won't have to do anything
We can just be

Different is me

Different
Sure
I get it
I am

I am not like your next door neighbor
Not like Jane or Sam
I am just me
And that is just ok with me

But not ok for everyone
I feel so much like the world conspires to bring you down
Even if you don't do anything wrong
You still get shit upon

And I get it
Accept it so
I am not afraid to let anything go
I just thought I could move from the past

All I tried to do
But the past seems to last
Not done trying
I will not complain either

But I am saying how I feel
And here is my space
Here I get to let it go
And it doesn't go to waste

I put myself out for all the world to see
I get back only, "Will you fuck me?"
Be with me baby
Gorgeous will you friend me

I am not looking for these kinds of things
I want what is best for me
I don't need to weed through others drama
To find out that it didn't matter anyhow
I already know

But others get caught up in it
They say they don't
But actions tell the truth
Tales are told with words

And since it so
I will not continue to believe
That life is going to hand me a fucking thing
And not that I believed it would

I assure you
I work extra hard for everything I get
And still deal with all of their shit
But I accept it as it is so

What would be the best way to get people to see the real me
As being myself is still not the way
Not that I care
I am just saying

I feel so misunderstood most times
Like people stare at me with a confusing mind
I don't remember a time
That it all seemed to just be right

Right in my life
As it feels so fucking hard
But I am over that
So why do I still have the scars

I love, listen, support and care
I stand directly in the storm
I express myself with all my flare
And still I feel others are so unaware

Unaware of who I am
And I guess I understand
As it is just who they are that they don't get
It's not about me at all

But it makes me want to reach out and explain
What difference would it make
As people are not who they think
They get caught up in all the stink

And I choose a different way to see
I guess that is my crime
I won't fall down with them on their knees and cry
I say it will all be fine

I don't see the world in the same dark light
I see love, truth, and some misunderstandings
But I also know the only power I got
Is within me

And I watch so many
Give their power away to all the negativity
And they don't get that it is just about them
And with a tiny grin, they could make it all go away themselves

And it doesn't matter what happens in their space
EVERYTHING affects them
What a fucking waste
As it doesn't have to be this way

But so many chose it
In fact, I can't think of one who doesn't
Maybe two in my life might not get swayed
But they don't see life my way

Or when the shit hits the fan
I don't get caught up in it
I can look outside of the situation and see things
And I try and explain this

But it doesn't matter people don't want to deal with themselves
They only want to blame you
Even it hurts them too
Sad it is so

As I don't want to discuss how wronged they have been
I just say to them, "Let's talk about you and where you are"
I know too much to behave that way
And I suppose they get confronted and run away

So that leaves me where I've always been
And I guess the point is learning again
But maybe there might be a new kind of person
Who can understand me the way I am

Yet to see it
I have hard time believing it
But I think it is possible
And maybe I just might get it after all