When the monster wakes

Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Be very quiet
It is not safe
And its not going to be

If you can tiptoe quietly
We can get out of here
Maybe run away
And be free

But where would we go?
We are only four
We can't feed ourselves
Or even open the door

But when the monster wakes
It will be too late
We have to leave now
But I see your point

So what are we to do
No one to follow through
I don't like what he does
Do you?

No
But what can we do about it?
We just have to let go
And try not to let it show

Because when the monster wakes
It will be too late
To change our fate
Or safe us from this hate

When the monster wakes
I am not always four
Sometimes I am much older
But still can't open the door

What am I fighting for?
I just don't know anymore
I just don't get the point
I am so afraid of everyone

I can't face them
They terrify me
I can't get past them
They electrify me

I don't want my prison bars anymore
But I can't get past my fears
I get over some
And there always seems to be more

When the monster wakes
I get scared and run away
I tell people to leave
But really want them to stay

They leave anyhow
Like they wanted to
And I am left with my sorrow
And wonder if maybe I do deserve it to

I really want to not care
I really want to give up
But can't live there-here
So I sit still

Do I believe all will be forgiven
Or is this the long road to be forsaken
I am afraid to believe
As the monster still hurts me

It dwells deep down below
When you touch it
It just grows and grows
It consumes every part of me
But never lets me be

There is nothing I can do
It is fine and ok
This is my life
I am not meant to be loved

Love is for those who can't be hurt
Like the monster hurts me
As I have never known the sweetness of love
Or a complete and safe physical sexual release

I have just know how it hurts
And won't ever let me be
And I guess maybe I will be ok with that
As what choice to do I really have

I give up
I do
I just give up
Please just let me be

Let me go
I don't want this anymore
I can't
But in order for me to leave
You have to leave me

I know what my life is for
I am not supposed to be loved
I am just supposed to love
Nameless and faceless people

I will just be like Neo without Trinity
Instead of loving one the most
I'll love all equally
But I fear she made him all he could be
And in the end she died anyway
I mean who needs that pain
Not me
As I have enough

I don't want to try anymore
I just want to give up
Please just let me give up
It is ok


That I won't get those things
It is ok
That I won't be loved
I am ok with that fate


As I was ruined by the monster
And knew it was all I was good for
But can't be used like that anymore
So just let me go


To where I don't know
I'll drag myself around this place
And eventually I'll die
Maybe then my grace
Will not pass me by

As I can't see beyond my pain
And the more I touch it
The harder it gets
I can't live like this anymore
And know I am alone in my regret

When the monster wakes
It is never over
Just a new begining
How much more can I suffer?

How much more do I need to
Before the monster feels full
As his ravenous appetite
Consumes my soul

I know I was wrong
To let him in the first place
I am bad
And still bad to this day
I am told all the time
The monster says so
And so do others
I thought loved me
Little did I know


I finally see
I need to give in
The monster can have me
He has already eaten my grin


And the only wish I will make
Is for the sweetness of death to take
As I know I can't go on
And I am tired of pretending when I am wrong


But death never comes
And my path is still clear
So I'll try and give up another way
As the monster is still here


And has touched everything in my life
And turned it to dust
And I can't just let it all rust
So I'll go


Ruined by the monster
I try and give in
But he won't stop
I let go but go nowhere

I am still afraid
To be close to people
I fight to overcome it
But don't get what I seek

I make another wish for death
A reoccurring dream
But again the answer is no
So I again wish that I can go

Told to stay
I don't like it this way
But want to believe
Good things are not far away


No matter if I am right or wrong
I have to sit tight and try to be
And in the meantime
I feel stuck out in the rain

But hopefully
All is for not
Hopefully
My life will have some purpose

And maybe love will find me
Do I dare believe
And is it really up to me
As I just can't say