Wounded

Love has wounded me
Made me believe
To rip it all away
Death faces change

Dying
Reality
People leave
I have learned

I feel like new
Something
Nothing
Different

But still I feel wounded
Unable at times
To deal with the smallest
Confrontation or truth

I hope to believe
I am still steady and strong
Resting below
Waiting to strengthen

As I don't think
This fleeing and avoiding
Person is really me
It's just not who I am

At the core
Foundation
Cemented in
Being me

Just another name
Who has been wounded
I wonder for myself
As I cannot wonder for others

It all seems to be too fucking much
Or am I just making it too real
Maybe it's not real
Only a game to be played

One that was caught
To avoid the real me
The one that sees things
Keeps going no matter what

I suppose I don't hold it against me
The falling flat on my face
I guess it's understandable
And I do understand

I can be
Compassionate
Loving
Supportive to myself

But I don't feel like the
Go getter
Maker of miracles
Stronger than mountains

I know myself to be
But not now
Now I just feel wounded
And scared

Maybe it's the real me
The one that's always been there
Maybe it's not going away
It's possible

Anything is
I have been hurt by more people
In more ways
Unimaginable pain

Has it strengthened me
Grown me
Repurposed me
Chosen me

I don't know
I am still reeling from the after shock
That hit me still
Square in the face

Does that make me strong?
That I keep going
Or is it just easy?
As you don't stop breathing