Handful of rocks

Your promises are like pebbles on a path
And if I do what you want
Then I can pick up another pebble
But all I get is a handful of rocks

And I can't buy food or shelter with those rocks
It is all so pointless
And I wish most my life was over
But it is just more rocks

You let people treat me like shit
And I truly have no one to turn to
I don't have anyone for guidance
You just beckon me to carry on

And I do
Thinking you might reward me
But you don't
And reward those who speak against me
Those who lie to me and hurt me

Everyone else gets what they want
And all you give me is rocks
I don't want rocks anymore
I don't want any of it

You can take it all back
And take my life back too
I don't want me
And I don't want you

I mean what is the deal
Are these magical rocks
Is there a point to all of it
Because right now I feel so lied to

And like I should turn and run away
Like it's not good to stay
As it looks like it might be
And I have no proof here

And everyone knows my intimate self
And that hurts me in a new way
Persecuted?
You wanted me to learn it

I suppose I will be grateful
But while I am forlorn
I don't see the gratitude
But it is not over
So we'll see

And truth be told I am so scared
To come close or go away
I don't know what to do
And wish it were not this hard

I know
I know
It is good for me
But in the midst of it
it's not what I see

Aug 28 8:48 pm