Possessed not

Love is not possession
Love is a choice
Sex is not a weapon
To get what you want

I don't desire normalcy
As that merely falls down
As what I had was anything but
And why it lasted so long was it was not built on sex

It was built on deep love and healing
Trouble was the healing overtook the stage
and a Leo without a spotlight is a goner
As love is not possession

Getting involved with someone on a horny high
Is the American way
And when things fall apart
So does the marriage

Sex is not everything
It is important to enjoy ourselves
But it is not everything
And while it would be nice
I know it is not more important

I am deeply in love
Even though I am alone here
I love even though I can't see her
And there is nothing wrong with that

Nothing wrong with loving someone who is not in your eye sight
It is a mighty deed
It has it's purpose
And it is a strong and beautiful choice

And while I am persist in my true feelings
And shed yesterday
I find myself wanting deeper still
And it only grows in strength

The love I feel is stronger still
The feelings have grown as though we were not seperated
We are one, connected and strong
And I am satisfied with my heart

But I understand something others don't
Love is never wasted
Time is never to late
And the more flaws you can admit and overcome
The more desirable you are

I am acclimating to my alone state
And while I don't enjoy planning for one
Which I hate planning anyway
I also know now it is not what I want

But I also refuse to start over with some stranger right now
As I would have to betray my soul to do so
I need time to be with myself
And I don't need a lover to complete me

And there is something freeing
and powerful about choosing what you want
even though it is not yours
Or is it

And I am thoroughly satisfied in my choice
As love is not possession
I can love even to the deepest
even though my eyes stare back at only me

But still I can see her
And I get that I am lucky that I know that
As most people never get the privilege

They are caught up in only what their mind tells them is there
But I know better
And I am grateful
I am not my thoughts

Sex is never worth a relationship
And that I am glad to know
As a relationship can survive and prosper without sex
But sex cannot survive for long without love and a relationship

And while I want the sex
If I had to choose between the love of my life
And hot sex with my fantasy woman
I would always choose the love of my life

And being honest with my mind
I see the love of my life is the only fantasy woman I want
And sex is only an added and beautiful, enjoyable perk
But I will never want to pick it over her

Truth be told
I feel neglected
A bit starved for affection
And I try and take it where I can get it

A compliment here
A shared laugh there
A smile at me
A slobbery lick from my furry friend
It is not much, but it fills something

But I guess not enough
And at times I feel a bit desperate and stupid
Stupid enough to fantasize that things could actually happen for me
I guess that's when I get to that point

That I wish I could hide myself from myself
And Crawl into someone else's life
I so enjoy spending time with him and his kid
Talking and bitching about all the Republicans and their stupid ways

If I were not this way
If I were straight
I would have found my dream mate
He is so much fun

Tattooed and long hair
Hawaii Native
As Green as I am
Owns a Green coffee house

If I could possess myself as someone else
Become not myself
If I could hide who I am deep inside myself
I think I could act the part

And to be treated great by a happy father
Loved and worshiped
Would be nice
But at las I know better

And his heart is with the woman who scorned him
And I am not that stupid to think I could be happy with a man
But the fantasy in my mind is nice
Being starved is hard on me

I guess the truth is I just want to be married and have a kid
But I have fought it for so long
As I was afraid a marriage would possess me
But now I see I am plagued by my desire

And know that life is mere moments
The past lingers long
Lovers who are wise throw the past out daily
As it can ruin any relationship if it gets it's way

And as I let go of my silly thoughts
Who are not me
I see that I am worthy of what is to come
And love is not possession