Baby steps

Slowly
What does the moment say?
How do I feel?
Will it all seriously be ok?

As so much as happened to me

And to you
And I feel love coming through
And it is so wonderful

What that means for us

I don't know
But it is something
I would like to see

I am so vulnerable too

And don't want to cross any lines
So with my hands behind my back
I will bide my time

As I see you

Differently than I used to
But I am not sure you see me
As you will not say a thing about me

You act like so many sides of the same coin

And I don't get where I fit in

I guess I need to just wait and see

If I do

My family is floored

And I know they mean well
But I don't need their drama or hell
Life can sometimes be sweet

And I tried so hard to not insight this

I tried so hard to do what is right
I tried to not let all the lies be seen
But it all seems to be coming apart at the seams

And while I am sure

Things will work out like they need to
I am not certian about anything
And it can be a bit overwhelming

And I find myself afraid of you a bit

Like I am going to be tricked
Or when I am down kicked
And you tell me you won't

But I remember I have heard it all before

And so many times you have done it

So many times you have tried to destroy me

Tear me apart

And I don't get why

Why do you want to bring me down?
Was it all a lie?
Are you just talking to me because I wouldn't stop asking?

I don't understand

What you mean
And sometimes wish I could go back to being unseen
But it is so incredible to have you near

And even though you don't let me in

Even still you keep me far away
Like, but, always
I don't mind bidding my time

It is just so nice to see you sweet

Even if some of it is artificial
Like a sweetener you cover me up
And I can only take it in small doses

As I know you are not being real

But I don't know what it is you want
But it doesn't matter
Not now

The truth will unfold

It is its only job
And I will accept it and let it be
And stay out of the way

As not to disrupt the truth
And I don't want lies
So in time
I will see what is right

I am letting go of old stories

And seeing if I can just start new
I expect nothing
And would wait forever

And I want to believe

But mostly I just have to wait and see
As it seems to be happening fast
And you have said so many things

Things about how you don't want or need me

Your mouth moves
And your body and actions
Sing a different tune.

So waiting

Still waiting
For what I don't know
But I would like to see

And I open to everything

Even letting myself love you
Or you leaving me
Like I am afraid you will do

And time will make it true

Whatever to be
And so I take the backseat
And we'll wait and see