Just Jump

Written: Dec 5, 2013 2:25 am.

Standing at that cliff
The one I knew was coming
The one I have been looking for
Waiting for

It is the cliff I couldn't find
The one I wanted to see so long ago
Standing here
In front of me

I find myself shaken
Could it all have been for not?
Really what was the point?
I let it go

I choose to jump
I am complete within myself
I need no other
It's not a tale

It's what I fought so hard for
What I wanted desperately
To be standing
And staring back at only me

And be ok with that
Ok in the deepest parts of me
Without anyone missing
Or incomplete

I just didn't know how
To get here
I amaze myself
I truly do

I made the impossible happen
Again
It's great
But now what?

Now what do I do?
I know I jump
I know I let go
I just don't know much else

So I'll fall
If I hit the ground
I'll survive it
I am that strong

If I come to a place
That I actually like
I'll be better off
Knowing myself

It was always my first priority
It was never meant to last this long
But it went how it went
It took as long as it did

I don't regret that
And while I understand so many things
I don't get just one thing
It still eludes me

As I did not drag anyone along for the ride
But for sure I was followed
I haven't been alone the entire time
I don't yet understand why

But I am also letting it go too
As it's just time
For me to look ahead
Even though I still walk in two's

I am going to jump
Excited?
Parts of me
As I know it's going to take me to a new place

I am scared
Sure
It's always scary
Leaving the past behind

It takes real courage
I know I have that
I know it's the right choice
I don't question

My heart still aches
Love still makes
I am still not exactly
Where I want to be

Though I think
Something is happening
I think everything
Is changing

I am going
To jump
Jump
Jump

The cliff is high up
The fall is long
But will happen fast
Before my very eyes

And exactly what will be
Will be
So I jump bravely
Whole heatedly knowing I am now free