Crushed Butterfly

Sometimes I feel
Like a crushed Butterfly
Crushed hopes and dreams
That have already flown by

It seems that it's all for not
Even though I am assured different
Why do I have to go on
It doesn't seem like anyone cares

Will I ever fucking get there
Seeing and not being able to reach
Is becoming more and more aggravating
Patience, I am told

But who really cares
This moment is fine
But something is still missing
And I know it's not me

Life has a confusing way
It shares many tales
Much are filled with dismay
And the others don't get talked about

I fucking don't know what to do
Did I make you up?
Were you never really there?
Where did everything go?

Pretty
Empty
Words
It still seems to be

Pretty
Empty
Words
Why do I try so hard?

As it doesn't ever change
Even though I do
And as always
There is so much more to do

You could put a gun to my head
As I wish I were dead
But instead you'll just judge me
As you have no idea how it feels

So don't fucking tell me
To keep my chin up
Don't you think I already know
Don't you think I am fucking trying

As it's not for lack of
It's for too much in the way
You say it's so easy for you
But I suspect you also are not through

It's very fucking difficult
To follow the path that I do
And since I have already chosen
There is no way off

If I want to get out
I have to go through
But through feels like agony sometimes
Harrowing and fucked

And I know
I know
I am so strong
You love to tell me that

Right before you tear open my chest
And rip my heart out with a grin
Who are trying to kill
As I suspect it's really you

I just got in the way
Bleeding and mending I hang in there
Trying to understand your glare
I see fear, where did the love go

But you don't question
And I don't know
The past is like a deep ravine
Set between who we really are

So much goes unseen
And while I begin to understand
Life moves from here
Sometimes stuck is a way of life

Keeping up old beliefs
Make it more fucked for me
Learning how to accept what I want
Is my only way out

So towing my soul
I spit the bad taste out
And you just laugh and stare
What the fuck is wrong with you?

Everyone else sees it but you
You blame me for all
And then you push me down
Saying you did it all for me

You don't see yourself
You don't know how you act
All the weird and untrue ways you behave
You are safe in your oblivion

But it is obvious
That, you are starting to see
As you are fighting against it
Parading your bullshit

I don't look but I still see
I begin to understand
I don't think you do
As you tell me it's all me

But it can't be
It's an impossibility
That what you do or how you feel
Would ever be because of me

What it will be like for you
When your pretend world finally falls down
Something you've done on your own
Maybe then will you know

I put myself
Out on a limb
Time after time
To get put down or hurt again

So what am I supposed to do
What would you do
If you were me that is
I bet you don't know

It's not as easy as it looks
I bet you'd run away
And say fuck it all
I tried that too

Nothing works
Nothing
So I continue on
Lucky me

I must have hit the fucking jackpot
So much to overcome
And all the smarts I need
And intuition to get through it

How lucky am I?
Really, don't bother
Your fucking breathing is too much for me
I get why I always want to be alone

Fine with me
As I am just a Crushed Butterfly
Was once a beautiful sight
But I got tired of never being able to take flight

Pretty
Empty
Words
You have no real idea

Pretty
Empty
Words
So fuck off


Jan 26. 2010
11:36 pm
Copyright 2010