Right or wrong?

I told him off
Did I do it for you
For me
For both

This unrelenting fear
Has been touched
Down deep
It doesn't leave

My stomach is sick
Sick like a dream
A nightmare
Still lives inside me

But I notice all the strength I couldn't before
I notice the door is not so shut
I see all the progress I have made
As I am almost at the end of my rapes

The questions I asked
Stared me point blank in the face
And all the power within
Showed his disgrace

I suppose I never could before
Tell them how they hurt me
When the moment opened the door
I walked right through

But to be touched by this man
A sociopath
And I thought I had it bad
I suddenly understand something new

I feel for her
Doing nothing
Taking blame for it all
Wishing I could protect them all

She can't see it
But I do
I feel for her
Am sad too

He blames me too
I have done nothing
He makes me feel ashamed
But doesn't get his way no longer works

But the type like him
Can only be a jerk
And shrug off responsibility
And make others wrong for what he does

He can't admit the truth
Even when asked point blank
How did it feel when you touched her
Small and frail form, she was

He can't even see
What it is he has done
I can
I wonder does she

I know I was hurt too
But my grandpa
Was not my dad
He was so hurting too
And I am grateful it was him
If it had to be at all

I lose all self control
Call him multiple names
I can't even stop myself
Am I to blame?

I don't want to be mean
But someone deep inside me
Doesn't care how he feels
What does it all mean?

My friend says she is grateful
I tell her can't she see
It is most definitely him
He isn't right in the head

I apologize
Wish I could have handled it better
But for all I did say
For all I stood up for

I actually do feel better
Better and sick
One in the same
And I never wish to see him again

I lost it
Put him down
Made him feel uncomfortable
So much so he decided to go

My poor sister
Hurt in so many ways
And this man she was born to
Has swung the blade

Reaching out to the past
To grab a bit of light
I concern myself with healing for her
But it is not my fight

I have still some of my own work to do
And as much as I would like
Am not through
Are you?