Would you do it?

If you were told to love someone
Who told everyone how awful you were
Would you do it?
Or would you be mean and shitty back?

If she told everyone she knew
Personal things about you
And made you look crazy and bad
Could you love her still?

If she asked people not to talk to you
Because she herself wanted to
And couldn't
So all she could do was hurt you
What would you do?

If this person loved you
And was the one person who you knew
Would never turn on you
But then she did
What would you do?

Would you turn on her?
Fire breathed and mean
Would you beat her down
Spread awful things

If she was so loud and unrealistic
And obviously not ok without you
And made sure everyone thought poorly of you
What would you do?

Would you love her still
Or would you tell her to fuck off
And put her down and shove her face in her shit
And dance on the past

Or could you stand firm
With your heart in your hand
And love in your mind
And say "But I love you still!"
"And I am not going anywhere!"

Knowing why she yells so loud
Or what she is afraid
Knowing what lies beneath the surface
Would it make a difference for you?

Would knowing that she truly loved you
Didn't know how to show it or let it be
Didn't know truly what she does or who she was
And that she is just terrified

As what if she was just afraid of herself
Afraid of hurting you
So she pushes you away
But it hurts you anyway

But it is ok
Would You love her still?
And could you stay?
What would you do?
Could you see the best in her?

With people calling you crazy
You might feel persecuted
And people will think you are a stalker
Even though you are only saying:

I love you
And want to help you heal
And am here for you
And am not going anywhere

And as the forces ripped you two apart
And as they try to bring you down
And you know they had a hold of her
Would you let them win the both of you?
What would you do?

As so much has happened
And it might make you want to run away screaming
And you might try
Again and again and again

But deep down you know different
You know how being next to her makes you feel
Completed, satisfied, and at peace
You know what is true and right

How your heart has never stopped singing for her
And your thoughts run vivid with imagination
You dream of making love to her again and again
And your body feels it and you feel it

But she doesn't believe
You, or anything you say
And you question yourself and if you have really healed
But Deep down you know it's true

And the funniest part could be
That all she wanted was a full relationship with you
And you could give that before
But am sexually freed now
And still she pushes you away

She can't see how it could change
She doesn't get you needed alone time to deal with you
And now that you have had it
Everything is different, but yet so much is still the same

So all you can do is stand two feet back
And wait with open arms
Will she show? You wonder
But you truly don't know

As she has said nothing to you
But fuck off
First it came out mechanical and nice
Then it came out like fire and ice

You ask for a conversation to end the past
She lies and says she already gave you one
But nothing has been tied up
And you begin to see the emptiness of her lies

As if she did want you to leave
Why can't she tell you to your face after 9 years
And if she did want you to leave
Why does she she get so mad and so upset

Things are not always how they seem
And while you might be at peace with being single
You still wish for just her
Doesn't she get that?

Doesn't she see that she is the only one for you?
So many others tell you that they wish you could be there's
But your heart longs for just her
She who pushes you away
And then gets mad for you pushing her away

As the mere suggestion of love freaks her out
So you give her time
And it never seems to come
Do you give up?

You try
You do
You try again
And then you are told to love her and believe

And you realize
She is not the only one who is struggling
You both are
Two peas in a pod

But the difference is
You are telling everyone who approaches you
She is just hurting and scared
And to give her a break

You are saying to everyone who butts in
As you do not go looking for any info about her
And you do not include anyone in how you are and how you feel
In fact, you tell them that this is only between you and she

But when they get involved and come calling you say to them
"Please just forgive her."
"It is not really her, she can't help it right now."
She is just hurting, why she yells so loud
Because you know the truth and know who she is

And you haven't seen her in over a year now
But know she still exists inside there
And she is still worth it
But life gets hard

And she gets mean again
And you catch yourself as you fall
And hang on to whatever you can
Which makes you smoke too much
As what she says cuts you, but you still let it go

Trouble is life has taken it's toll
And the past is still locked inside the future
You can't reach hers to release it
So you wait

You cry
Your mourn
You believe
You give up

Then you come back
Accept the love you share as what is
And try and focus in the moment
Even though you struggle

What would you do?
Any of that?
Or something completely different?
Or is it too absurd a question?

It is a beautiful thing
When someone will not bend to the will of the world
And just be
And that is what I am doing

As I could run
But know my heart and soul remain inside her
And so I would not get very far
But truly I know I don't want to go

So for me
I might not be the only person in the world
Who would hang on when all hope seems lost
But all but one person tells me to let go.
But I think that she is worth it!

So for me
I will stand with my heart in my hand
Two feet back I sit and wait
"What would you do?"

If she shows I will be happy
And at least I will know
That I did not leave her in this place
As all I want is for her to heal and be happy

And that I am fighting for what is truly most important in this world
And it doesn't matter what you think about me
Or what you would do
Maybe you would do the same thing too

I only posed the question
Because I figured while there might be one or so persons out there like me
I am the only one I know
Who would look beyond the surface until I saw her face truly

And in that gaze
I choose to wait
As she is so worth every bit that I have to do
And I am learning so much too
And find myself so grateful for her