I’m actually afraid of me

I am not actually afraid of you at all
It's me who scares me
It's all the things that I want to happen and am afraid they won't
But it's not you

It's what’s inside of me that scares me
It is not the good parts of me either
It is all the bad stuff that was put their without my consent

But most of all its how you make me feel that scares me
Alive, In love, Happy, Complete, Worthy, Pleasure
I was afraid to let that stuff in
I was afraid that it might not last

I also want so much out of life
I want so much with you
And I can't always see how to get there so sometimes that scares me

You make me want to come out and be who I am
You make me see me as I am
You provoke it with your love and I am grateful

As I fear I might have wasted away alone
I have tried to get further because of you
I don't need you
But I want you

I will have the best life I can now
With or without you
I know I am going places
I won't sit by and let these things happen to me anymore

It is good of me to see who I am
I can never be anything for anyone else, until I am right for me

It is a good time now
A time for me to get me right
I am grateful for that
I have done so much stepping in the right direction

I feel that I am on a different path now
A path that will lead me to who I already am
And to where I want to go

There is still sorrow here
I still get sad and anxious
I still long to see your face

I get excited and liberated too
I have lots of fun
I know I will be done with this soon

I am almost there
Hopefully I will see you at the end
But I know I will be there