Has life always been this boring?

Life seems to be moving so slow
Maybe it is because I am in the moment
Or maybe its because I always been this bored
I just didn't know it before

Life is not fun for me right now
It seems to be work and way too much down time
It's not that I mind being alone
But this sucks

But I am so bored
All the time bored
Wondering what I am going to do bored
Living in one moment to the next, bored

I feel like I am watching the clock and it is ticking so slowly
I feel like time has slowed down
I feel like it is taking a hundred years for Jan to come
I fee like I am inside some chamber where time does not move

Maybe it is has always been this boring
I just didn't know it before
Maybe I was so caught up in distractions
I didn't see how utterly sad and boring it all was

I crave something new
Something with some spice or depth
I crave something to take the edge off
But I won't do anything naughty

I don't know what to do
Too much time is never a good thing
I can't work enough, see my friends enough
Life is so unfulfilling right now

I feel like a zombie going from thing to thing
Without any excitement or joy
The only time I look forward to is when I workout
I can't do much with my broken foot, but I can walk around a track

When will my life be right for me?
When will it fit me?
I hope soon

I guess I should be grateful that I am waking up from my nightmare
I guess I should cherish the down time as I will most likely get very busy
I guess I should enjoy each second
I guess I am taking something for granted

All I know is how things are, make me ancy
My life looks very different now, than it did before
Which is ok, but I want it to look different still

I can't settle with the smallness I have
I feel so suffocated by it
I can't settle with the safeness
I feel so incomplete and unfulfilled

I can't settle for the mediocrity
I feel so normal
I can't settle for the mundane
It never suited me

I want, need, desire, demand more
More from my life and more from myself
I want, need, desire, demand different
As I have been there done that and don't want a repeat of my past

Newness, freshness, a start over
That is what I am calling for
As maybe this all has some great purpose
But I just feel locked out of one door, waiting for the other one to open