Sweet, beautiful

Sweet, sweet beautiful Jenn
I forgive you for hurting me again
But I do not want to be your friend
As I fear I will love you until the end

To stop thinking of you, yes I am trying
But it feels like I am dying
And/or lying

As I feel you next to me
But wish you would just flee
It hurts me so because I want you near
But you have not made yourself unclear

So when my body cries out for only you
I try and think of what I can do
Go to the bar and find some hotty?
But with regret I would just feel naughty

So I try and sit with my feelings so
I feel you under me as we tango
Our bodies to and fro
And feels so I hot I wish I could go

It is almost too much for me to bear
So I get the thoughts out somewhere
And think of something other than you
Like maybe I'll get a tattoo

Back and forth I play this game
But truly I wish just to scream your name
Thinking of that gets me hot
So I go again with the not

Carry on, which way was it?
As nothing quite seems to fit
I don't care
Do I dare?

Oh I feel so sick
Like I swallowed arsenic
My hands feel tied behind me
As I move in between loving you and letting you free

As I do not long to push you away
Or to pull you close
As I hear in your voice all the dismay
But I still love you the most

And I do not protest to what you desired
And I know in my communications everything backfired
I just can't cut off my love for you
I just can't turn on a dime and be through

I know I haven't be the understanding kind
All the heartache for me has been too combined
I know you deserve more
And I am sorry for my uproar

I know I come off as over the top
But now I am in my own workshop
I know you need time to heal the deep pain inside
I hope that your world gets turned back upside

And I hope you get your hearts desire
Or anything else that you admire
But ask that you not begrudge me for wanting you
As I feel it through and through

I am living for me excitedly
Things are seemingly getting easy
But it hasn't changed how I feel about you
As I promise you, I love, love, love love you

Knowing that life won't stop for a broken heart
I try and remember people like Mozart
He kept playing and writing masterpieces
Even after his eyes no longer saw the creases