Aching Soul

My emotions have long since been put aside
As I have let my soul come out
And so much still isn't right
Without you physically by my side

Our souls are still speaking
Even though we are not
And you even visit me in my dreams
And tell me many things

But I do not look for you
As my soul is aching too bad
So I try to ignore it
But still she screams it

It is a quiet peaceful nudge really
But one that vibrates my entire being
And one I can't ignore
But the the dull ache can be painful

And I agree with her (my soul)
As having you by my side
Would be the only thing
That is worth the fight

Whenever I try and move on alone
I feel like I am trying to leave my own soul
And it hurts to bad to disconnect
And so I always stop and believe

Sometimes I feel you so close
That I cannot distinquish a dream
From being without you
And I have to pick up myself

Splitting atoms by hand would be easier
Than me trying to walk away from you
And it's not ok
But I believe it will be

As if not for the burning in my soul
I would not look back
People still scare me
And you have been so full of lies

And I know my mission now
And it lights me up
And I can handle being alone
Except my soul aches for just you

And the truth is of course
I am wanting only you
And it is not just a phase
That I am going through

I only wish I was brave enough
To believe in your strength
But have been groomed for the opposite
But I am trying hard to change

And I have been freed
From the past
That has hurt me so bad
And can breathe about things

But now I see what needs to happen
Here for you
And here for me
And in seeing the truth I understand

And believe all that it could be
And all that it is
So I am not hurrying to you
I am planning a life for me

But still can see what lies ahead for us
And if you don't know
You can look for yourself
And if you still can't see

You'll have to wait
As I have said enough
And this part
I will keep to myself

As I have quit all the running
And I finally had that dream
The one where you come to me
And feel me up with your love

As this thing between us
Has already happened
In the future
Whatever has been
Will be
And for this I am satisfied

I have no more doubts
And no more lies
And only love you for you
And for me and the light too
And that is all I need

But there is no hurry any more for me
As I have bigger issues to deal with now
Like how in the hell am I going to make a difference
Mother Earth is crying all the time now

And my soul cries for her too
And all her inhabitants too
So that is the big question for me
When and What the hell can I do?

As I have plans
And am starting to execute them
But time is waiting
But I want to help so badly now

So breathe in
Breathe out
Take a step
And another

As I get now, life
Is not all at once
I will do these things I see myself doing
And will make a difference in many ways

But what I am doing now
Is taking care of me
And that is the first step
In making all the rest

The journey is long
And I believe will be fruitful
But it is also where I want to be
As this moment is all I have

And this is the first stop
But not where I stay
And even though my soul still aches
I know I will make the change