Metamorphis

I am changing again
Becoming less and less
Apart of my surroundings
And more apart of you

I don't feel like one of the crowd
I feel so singled out
So different
I don't belong anywhere
But can fit in anywhere

I feel so removed from life
And while I can understand most anyone's feelings
I don't get at all how strapped down to this life they are
They don't see what is coming

I can't tell anyone
Deaf ears are common in my presence
The soul only wants to live for today
But they don't see that deep down the soul desires truth and knowledge

I feel badly for them
Never awake
Sleeping sound tight as they walk from place to place
Life tries to push them to see
And they don't want to see

I feel like I have fallen out of life
Left to wander alone in the desert
A few people within sight
But chosen to be alone

Lucky me
God tells me I will find happiness
But I have yet to see it
I only know learning at the school of my soul

Desire dies slowly among all the wreckage of yesterday
Letting go of what used to be
Wanting still
But closing all the doors
Just to have them opened up again

Who I am to become
Will I ever be satisfied where I am
Running faster still
Trying to sit still

Blurry And seperating
Life is taken from me
Whence I used to not feel like I belonged
Now I know I don't belong, anywhere

People are easy to fool
All you have to do is act like their souls says they want
You have to listen carefully
Then you repeat and they are fooled

I am long since over being fooled
More information than I want fills up my head, heart and soul
My mind gets caught between theirs
And their secrets are whispered

I feel what they do
I see what they want
I get who they are
I try and help, but really want my own life

I feel like the kid in the sixth sense
He sees something no one else does
I get what others don't
And at times I don't know what to do with it


Happiness remains on the horizon
And I feel sailing out to sea
Life is failing me
But it is for a higher purpose
But still I wish I could fly away

Like with Dumledore's Pheonix
In an instant I would be gone
As reality is not real
People are full of lies and pretend

I am learning how to look away
As it seems only the shit gets displayed
It doesn't have the same power it used to over me
And so much is already passed by

But in the mere moments that linger
Between reality and truth
I can see clearly down the road for miles
And I try and believe it is true

People have failed me so much
I think Anyone I love the most will be used against me
Cowardly, I run from what I see
But sometimes my strength amazes even me

As sometimes I can stand directly in the storm
And stand there strong and able
And sometimes I can make the most incredible things happen
And that is the truly cool part

I used to believe I wanted to be alone
Now that I am
I know it is not true
And in my safeness I persist in a dream

And as things fall into place inside me
The outside remains the same
But it no longer matters
And I am better than ok


July 24, 2009