Saying goodbye

I didn't expect that I would go back
Back to my deep hole
Back to suffering
I didn't see it coming

As I felt so damn free
But never the less
I ended up back there again
And while it hurt

This time was different
It didn't last as long
I learned deeply about me
And I became a new kind of free

It was familiar in the most usual way
But unlike yesterday
I did not want to stay
So I didn't

But what I uncovered
Was worth the journey there
And I when I saw myself truly as I am
I left

I know I won't ever go back again
Not that I don't want to
But that door no longer exsists
It has been engulfed by the light and love I feel for myself

One by one
My doors all in a row
Are being eaten by what I now know about me
As I know I am powerful to truly be free

And the journey started with a step of love towards me
I give myself who I am
I don't need to be saved
I am already free

And that is the best thing
As sometimes I don't feel that way
But it doesn't change
It is just me

I see what I have been missing
And I know how badly I used to hurt
But the love I now feel for myself
Has filled me up in such a way

That I don't need to search outside myself
When things get me down
Or my black hole reappears
I look deep inside for truth

And that is my ticket out of there
A free pass if you choose it
Before I did not get it
But now I do

And that is all I need
Me
To get me through
No one else can do it for me

Even when I don't know how
I will still find a way
As the answers lay still in wait
And all I have to do is choose to see

And in seeing I become
Understanding brings about a new
And with that I no longer suffer
I just exsist inside me

And that to me is the point
A way you get yourself free
The reasons I keep going
Are me

The new world I live in
Is one that is so sweet
As I am learning now
I want to let that be

I used feel all sorts of sadness for me
Used to think I didn't deserve it
I used to be that it won't happen
And it, was everything I wanted

But a lie only holds so much power
It can only get you for so long
You will only choose it until you have seen the truth
And the truth sets you free

If you don't believe
Take a piece of your own suffering
Ask for it to be true
And the answer might surprise you

As all these lies we pour ourselves into
Are just that
And when you get you don't need them
They fall away

And that is where I am
What an exciting place
And now that I have seen me
I know I deserve every good thing coming my way