Transcending into me

Alone in this place
But not alone after all
As I have found more than I thought I could
And learned to let go of it all

I have seen who I am
And what I am going to be
I have seen myself plant deep roots of light
Deep down inside the Earth so that I may do what is right

Love, light, forgiveness
I see now that there is nothing else worth my time or attention
Because every action done in anger or fear
Needs to be corrected

I am starting to understand my task in a whole new way
I don't want the sadness or fear anymore
I am not afraid now in this place
I do not want to be alone and secluded

I don't ask for what is best for me
As I usually don't know
I don't want to hang onto the evilness that drapes me
I want to be free from it all

I am learning to be free
It is hard and needs constant attention
As the negative thoughts don't want to disappear
They try and remain but I no longer want the fear

As we generally think that somehow the negativity will bring us joy
It never does, but we keep trying to use the dark side to our benefit
We never can get how the negative ways leave such a sick film on us
One we can't see overtime and forget that is there

Which makes it easier to do those things we couldn't do before
And harder to say "I am sorry," or "I love you,"
Our pride gets covered and layers become more
And eventually we don't try and open the door

Even when we love someone
We pretend that they aren't there
As it is easier to leave them and ignore the truth
Than it is to admit we were wrong and still care

As negative thoughts and emotions will only always disappoint
Always have and always will
Never been different
It has only worked to our detriment

It's the positive thoughts and emotions that are scary
Because what if you get what you want and are truly happy
The body often rejects this ideal as they are afraid of it not lasting
The dreams become scarier because of the fear of them not happening

To free yourself
It is important to let go
Of all the anger and fear you hold onto
As it does you no good anymore

But I think it is what we all want
To be loved and to love
To smile and be smiled at
To feel joy and light up someone else too

We are just to used to the misery
So we let it remain
And we never see that we have the power
To change the pain

It is weird for me
As I think no one else understands it
I get that I am alone here in my awakening
I get that I walk this path alone

It would be nice to have a friend or a kindred
And my soul mate would be even better
I don't mind being alone
It just gets lonely

I understand that it is hard for them and their busy day
They don't have the energy to change
They get so caught up in what happened
And they don't stop and let it go

Because people want to do what is easy
Not what is right for them
They want to be angry and get revenge
They want to be sad and consoled

They even want their misery
As it distracts them from their crushed hopes and dreams
So they don't have to remember what it is they were after
They can accept their fate and still bitch for the laughter

They don't want to forgive and learn how to love beyond the pain
They think forgiveness is some way to say sorry
They think forgiveness will cause more hurt
They don't know in forgiveness it takes the pain away from them
And creates a brand new start

I am transcending away from who I used to be
One of them
Blind and forgetful
Sad and lonely
Afraid and hurting

I am taking a journey that gets more and more removed from the mainstream life
I see the world so differently
I doubt anyone understands that
I see it all so deeply

I try and unplug a person here
Or a person there
But soon learn that they don't care
And I realize it is not up to me to change their fair

So I continue on my way
Seeking someone, anyone who cares
Are they there?
I don't see them through the gateway

In the end I see that it is not for me
To be surrounded by the few who do see what I see
As for what is important to me
Is that I get it, not that they get me